Everytime I lay my sight upon her, my senses kind of short-circuit. I love her facial features when my hands gently and softly slide over her majestic body...the way she starts to breathe heavily when my lips continue what
my hands started.
It is so intense, this feeling, that it scares me... but i have been craving for it for such a long time that i can't deny or turn my back on it.
Maybe it's the way she looks into my eyes when i'm on top holding her firmly...maybe it's the way she smiles right before she kisses me, and as much as I want to find a reason or explanation to this feeling, I know and I feel the truth: it cannot be explained because it is not of this world...
I want her so badly and I can see that this sensation is mututal, but it's not lust. It is not that kind of sexual craving embedded deep inside the human nature. How do I know?...I feel it...not with my body, not with my mind or instinct...I feel it with my soul!
I often look at her and can't help thinking about the aryan myth, the myth of the perfect beings, neither man nor woman. I fell into a vivid meditation when we were touching in our intimate moments and felt and saw something i have never experienced before: I couldn't see her...I couldn't see myself. I saw one, only one entity, felt like I was inside her body, and she was inside mine. When I touched her it was like we were connected and I could feel exactly what she was feeling when I was touching her...I felt completion!
Incredible! I have lived a big part of my life under the reign of lust, but this... this feeling is over my comprehension, because its roots are somewhere in the higher spheres of existance! That somewhere, I feel, is between love and grace, and that is a tricky place to be, because most people can't resist the temptation and mistake it for lust.
It is not lust! It is divine...It is called DESIRE!